Some of you men exhaust me. Especially you Match men. You wink, then you IM, or you send an email and then you take another week and send another email.
Haven't any of you worked in a business world before? Are you as inefficient with your business? No wonder Orange County is in such a mess financially.
Just get on with it, will you? See, the thing is I don't want to spend a month getting to know your photo face and then finally meeting you for some coffee and finding out you are a complete bore. And if you happen to be amazing and the best kisser in all of Orange County, I'd rather know that tonight, say in the next 30 minutes rather than wait three weeks to find out.
Shouldn't the kissing commence if there is going to be kissing? I'm telling you. Women in business especially women of the pre middle age sort...well, we could get things done.
So, ask us to go out on a damn date. Don't say, "Maybe we should hang out sometime." Ugh. Hanging out is for kids. Ask me on a real date like a real man would ask. I'll show up like a real women in a skirt and everything.
You might end up with some real making out.
If you IM me to death, you get nothin'.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Dating Firemen. Our Civic Duty.
B and I have much in common including our great appreciation for men. As I’m ought to do, I run through the list of the men in my dating queue. You know…maybe I’m not dating them but we’ve dated before and it’s been amazing and we might date again but we’re not quite sure we’re the right fit for long term.
Play dates. No, not booty calls. That’s so 20’s. I’m pre middle age. I like play dates. And they don’t have to be in bed. Sometimes they are terribly great little dinner dates or drinks at bars or running-into-each-other for kissing dates because in your 30's you are damn busy.
I’m damn busy.
And then, there are the exceptions. Firemen. B and I both have had firemen encounters of the non burning down the house variety.
I leaned in and asked her, "did you sleep with him?" She paused, smiled, sighed and answered, "He's a fireman.".
We both knew that meant yes.
I told B, “you know those boots the firemen put out for fundraisers on the corner…..? It’s like we’re making a donation.”
“Yes, it’s really a civic duty.”
Any of you firemen out there, keep wearing your fire company t-shirts on your off day. Put a picture of you in your uniform on Match.com. Do what you have to do to let us know you’re of the hero sort because chances are, well, very likely chances are, you’ll run into someone willing to donate to a hero cause.
And it’s a very good donation.
Play dates. No, not booty calls. That’s so 20’s. I’m pre middle age. I like play dates. And they don’t have to be in bed. Sometimes they are terribly great little dinner dates or drinks at bars or running-into-each-other for kissing dates because in your 30's you are damn busy.
I’m damn busy.
And then, there are the exceptions. Firemen. B and I both have had firemen encounters of the non burning down the house variety.
I leaned in and asked her, "did you sleep with him?" She paused, smiled, sighed and answered, "He's a fireman.".
We both knew that meant yes.
I told B, “you know those boots the firemen put out for fundraisers on the corner…..? It’s like we’re making a donation.”
“Yes, it’s really a civic duty.”
Any of you firemen out there, keep wearing your fire company t-shirts on your off day. Put a picture of you in your uniform on Match.com. Do what you have to do to let us know you’re of the hero sort because chances are, well, very likely chances are, you’ll run into someone willing to donate to a hero cause.
And it’s a very good donation.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Be Brave Men. Be Brave.
After tonight's event, two of the event directors and I went bar hopping. Umm..to a bar. One bar. There wasn’t really any hopping involved. There were drinks and there was calamari and lots of catching up and a little bit of work but not much. And then, Jack came over.
Jack is ruggedly handsome. He has this sort of reddish beard and bluish eyes and he wrapped his arms around B, one of the event directors and hugged the hell out of her. They’ve known each other awhile and this is B’s territory so she should get the hugging. I get the hugging in Irvine and my restaurants.
Anyway, Jack starts chatting with the three of us and mentions that there was this one pretty blonde (what’s new about that opening line) and he wanted to talk to her but she was in “the diamond lock down formation”. Four women. Blocking Jack. Blocking Jack’s cock. Bringing a swift end to Jack’s evening.
Devastation.
And I look over and roll my chocolate brown eyes and tell him, “Be brave. Just bust through and tell her you wish you had your wingman with you because you’d really like to ask her out.”
The discussion went on for sometime and Jack continued to mull this over. I think there are the brave men and the not brave men and sometimes not brave men can become brave men. Just ask. Just ask her if she wants to go out. She might say yes, You Idiot.
The worst that could happen is you’ll be back at home finishing it off by yourself. Right? Not much change in that from last night, darlin’.
Jack is ruggedly handsome. He has this sort of reddish beard and bluish eyes and he wrapped his arms around B, one of the event directors and hugged the hell out of her. They’ve known each other awhile and this is B’s territory so she should get the hugging. I get the hugging in Irvine and my restaurants.
Anyway, Jack starts chatting with the three of us and mentions that there was this one pretty blonde (what’s new about that opening line) and he wanted to talk to her but she was in “the diamond lock down formation”. Four women. Blocking Jack. Blocking Jack’s cock. Bringing a swift end to Jack’s evening.
Devastation.
And I look over and roll my chocolate brown eyes and tell him, “Be brave. Just bust through and tell her you wish you had your wingman with you because you’d really like to ask her out.”
The discussion went on for sometime and Jack continued to mull this over. I think there are the brave men and the not brave men and sometimes not brave men can become brave men. Just ask. Just ask her if she wants to go out. She might say yes, You Idiot.
The worst that could happen is you’ll be back at home finishing it off by yourself. Right? Not much change in that from last night, darlin’.
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